Monday, April 7, 2008

Myth busted

Cocoa butter prevents stretchmarks. Every pregnant lady MUST have this staple in her beauty arsenal.

Uh huh.

When I was pregnant with my first, I dutifully and liberally applied this wonder lotion EVERY DAY. Things went really well. For the first 7 months. And then they came.

One fine morning I awoke to a round tummy that really closely resembled a water melon. Stretch marks appeared over night. What a rip off! I believed the lies! Those lying liers. Cocoa butter does NOT prevent stretch marks. At least not if you are genetically predisposed to them. And if you are not predisposed to them, I don't want to know it. And I hate you.

And then with my second baby, I thought....well, perhaps a little more cocoa butter wouldn't hurt. You know? Maybe this time will be different. I've already got a water melon tummy, maybe this cocoa butter will save me from becoming more water melony. So I did it all over again. Same story. But baby number two grew larger, and was cooked 3 weeks longer than baby number one. And I ate a whole lot more mozzarella cheese sticks from Arby's with baby number two. So the cocoa butter did nothing for me. And just when you think there isn't room for any more stretch marks, somehow, the impossible is made possible. More appear. Great. Fabulous. COCOA BUTTER DOES NOT PREVENT STRETCH MARKS.

So here we are. Baby number three. Knowing what I know, you would think I wouldn't bother. Right? Wrong. I am bothering. Perhaps I have it all wrong....perhaps I am supposed to be EATING the cocoa butter?

7 comments:

betty r said...

It may not work but you'll smell nice!

redeemed diva said...

Hilarious!
I have 'em too, but I never did the cocoa butter thing. I just hoped it wouldn't happen-naive,naive me! M husband calls them my "birthmarks". :)
If you do go the internal route, I recommend "extra virgin coconut oil." Any other kind has trans fats.

DiddleDaddleDesigns said...

Thanks for visiting my blog. Yes, I have them too and I used the cocoa butter. But I do agree with Betty, you will smell nice.

Teresa

sjb-roso said...

I am also included in the "stretch marks club" and as I was complaining about them to a friend, she reminded me "Our stretch marks are our badges of honor... we carried our precious children in them!!! However, if they were to magically disappear one day, I wouldn't be upset...

Jean said...

Cocoa butter does sound yummy, though! Ha-ha!

Blogging Molly said...

if only cocoa butter tasted as good as it smells (well, maybe it does, i just haven't tried it). i didn't get stretch marks on my tummy, but boy oh boy did i get them elsewhere. fortunately i can't see the ones on my inner thighs and my bra covers the rest.

Sally said...

FLOSSNFLOSS@GMAIL.COM REPLYS:
I INHERITED THE LIPS,TITS AND THIGHS IN THE FAMILY... AND STRETCH MARK TROPHIES TOO! MY BABY IS NOW 21 YEARS OLD AND THEY DO NOT GO AWAY- I THINK THAT LIVING THIS FAR NORTH WITH THE COLD THE COCOA BUTTER WAS NOT ABLE TO "MELT IN MY TUMMY"! AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN A SUMMER SKIN EXPOSER SO I MAY HAVE STRETCH MARKS BUT NO SKIN CANCER!! WOOHOO~~ GOD BLESS UR #3!!