eating crow

One day last week we left the house in a flurry.

Everyone was running behind. We got in the car. Buckled. The entire time I'm saying things like, "HUSTLE!" and "When mom says it's time to put coats on, that means it's time to put coats on!" (In cranky tones.)

We drop off my girl. I switch off the crank and say, "Have a great day, Peanut." With much sincerity, hoping to offset the horrible start to the day I've just given her.

Then it's off to preschool. (Where my boy plays and learns and eats Pepperidge Farm Goldfish all morning.)

We're just a few moments behind schedule. I don't like being behind schedule. I decide to make time by driving like a moron. I cut in front of another vehicle and feel really dumb about it. Especially when that vehicle follows me on the next two turns, and parks beside me in the preschool parking lot.

I try not to make eye contact, but can feel the weight of my rudeness hanging thick in the air.

She starts walking into the building, and we take our time. I am no longer in a hurry. I am embarrassed and want to crawl under my car.

...........................................

This morning, as I am walking out of the school, I see The Lady walking towards me. We are about to cross paths when I feel the overwhelming urge to apologize.

I look her in the eyes, she remembers.

I say, "I have to tell you, the other day I was driving like a total jerk. I cut you off. I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

She says, "You did? Oh, that's okay!"

We both laugh a little and the air is cleared.

She turns back to me as I walk away and says, "You have a great day."

...........................................

I need to apologize more often.

It feels really good.