Especially friends that make you cookies to keep you occupied while you wait. And wait. And wait some more. And then gouge out your eyeballs. And then eat another cookie.
Today was going to be the day. Maybe. I was scheduled for an induction, and then got a call. The L & D is filling up, and I'm going to have to wait.
My first thoughts were those of ugliness towards all the other ladies hogging up all the spots. Or just the one taking up what was going to be mine. Selfish whale. (Pretty ugly, I know. And hateful. And horrible. I am trying to feel bad about feeling so mad.)
My reaction has been pretty humbling. What's my problem? These women are having babies! Bringing wonderful new beings into this world. I should be glad for them. Not jealous. So what if I have to wait until Christmas for my own baby to find his way out?
The world does not revolve around me. The L & D isn't mine. I can't control everything, even if I try. Why do I keep trying? It only makes life more stressful.
I'm trying to use this as a learning experience. An experience that will help me to place my trust in The One who does have control. The One who knows how this will all play out. The One who loves me and knows what's best and sees the whole big picture.
(Would it be wrong to pray that over half of the mommies there would be sent home because their labor turned out to be false?)