white linen

For whatever reason, life has been....hmm....not hectic, per say, and not awful, horrible, or unmanageable, but.....difficult. And not difficult, really, but tiring? It's hard to put my finger on the right label.

All I know, is that I've been experiencing the kind of days where I start praying for strength by 9 am. Ugh. I know that my crew has cabin fever. I long for days spent outside. In the sun. In the air. With birds chirping and flowers blooming. (In my mind's eye, I'm wearing a lovely white linen dress, painted toenails, and strappy sandals....I'm thinner, taller, with long hair pulled up in a twist. I'm sitting on a cushion tending to my garden {in that white linen dress--in daydreams everything is unstainable} gathering blooms to put in vases around my house, which is out in the country. Our dog {that we don't have} is playing with the children. Who, by the way, are also dressed in white linen--without stains, of course.)

I'm so glad that I don't have to do this in my own strength. I often try to do things in my own strength....those are the days where I do a lot of crabby thinking, too much sitting around, and a whole lot of nothing else. It's amazing how God can reach down into this feeble being and guide me through my day. All I have to do is ask. And that's when my kids will ask me for something, and instead of spewing something snappish and cranky at them, loving words pour out. Those don't come from me. I'm so thankful that He is my filter. That He guards the tender spirits of my little ones from their harried mother.

You may think I'm crazy. And I am. But I am so very serious when I say that I can't do this. Not alone. Not in my own strength.

And I encourage you to give it a try. When you are at your wit's end. When you've tied a knot in the bottom of your rope and you're hanging on by your teeth and hungry crocodiles are nipping at your dangling toes....that's when you cry out. I promise you that He hears. I promise you that it gets better. I promise you that when your reserve has been depleted, He will fill it back up. We are not alone. That's better than all the unstainable white linen in the world.